With Monica Bancheri, Winner of the 2025 Feminist Creator Prize
Monica, also known as Gay Italian Nonna, is a queer, masculine-presenting lesbian, talk show host, and community builder dedicated to creating safe spaces for women and the LGBTQ+ community. Through her content and talk show, she helps people find connection, friendship, and belonging. Her Talk Show unMASCed shines a light on trans icons, LGBTQ+ leaders, inspirational women, and creatives- amplifying the voices that shape our culture.
Within her content, Nonna Monica speaks towards mental health and inclusive beauty content, ensuring all women feel seen and celebrated. Her work is rooted in empowerment, representation, and fostering a meaningful community.
Transcript
00:00:00 Andrea
Hello and welcome to Alright, Now What? I’m your host, Andrea Gunraj, for the Canadian Women’s Foundation.
Gender equality and justice, where we live, work, learn, and play is the goal, and it makes life better for everyone. This podcast is our chance to connect with insightful people and explore what it’ll take to get there in Canada.
The work of the Canadian Woman’s Foundation and its partners takes place on traditional First Nations, Métis, and Inuit territories. We are grateful for the opportunity to meet and work on this land. However, we recognize that land acknowledgments are not enough. We need to pursue truth, reconciliation, decolonization, and allyship in an ongoing effort to make right with all our relations.
00:00:51 AwarePod
Let’s say you’re walking home one night, listening to some casual Beethoven, as one does. If you’re a man, there’s a good chance you’ll hear it just like this… If you’re not a man, there’s a good chance you’ll hear it more like this… Because women and gender-diverse people are expected to always keep one ear to the ground to reduce their chances of being attacked. Does that sound right to you? Visit awarepod.com to learn more and help fight gender-based violence.
00:01:29 Andrea
Today I’m speaking with Monica Bancheri.
So, my first question for you, I want to know what kind of gender or equality change maker are you? You did the quiz, you got analyzed. What were your results and were you surprised at all by any of them?
00:01:45 Monica
Yeah, I mean, it was pretty balanced overall, like everything scored around 23% for challenger, creator, collaborator. My highest was connector which makes total sense because I love connecting people, it’s literally what I do on social, is help build community, help people find you know someone to connect with, whether that’s a friend or maybe I played matchmaker at one point, so maybe it’s love, but I love connecting people. And I’m a human design girly and I I’m a projector and that’s essentially what a connector is, so it checks out, it does check out.
00:02:23 Andrea
I love it when the quiz actually tells people the truth. Let me tell you, let me find out this from you, Monica, I find that interesting that you feel that what you do on your social media on your platforms is connecting. I don’t necessarily hear that from people, I hear people saying, oh, I tell my point of view, oh I create- tell me more about this idea of using digital for community.
00:02:48 Monica
Yeah, I think you know, when I grew up, we were outside, we were playing outside. You would just knock on a neighbors door and be like, hey, do you want to play like tennis with me or something like that. But I feel like with this day and age, it’s really hard to make friends. It’s really hard to make community and sometimes all you just need is that one person. And I know when I came out, I didn’t really have many queer friends. And so I went to social media, and that’s actually kind of how Gay Italian Nonna got created is I started as Toronto Dog Mom. I literally made a silly video, like it was such a silly video. And I noticed the power of social media that it brought people together and people were making friends in my comments, and I was making friends through social, and I really think it has a beautiful, there’s obviously a social could be a double ended sword, but I really love to look at the the beauty of things, and it can really bring people together because it allows them to feel seen, it allows them to feel represented. And it really helped me with my journey, especially coming out because I didn’t have a lot of visibility. I grew up in a very Catholic up Italian upbringing. And so when I saw lesbians, I was like, oh my goodness, my world has changed. So, I think it’s really beautiful to kind of see the connection and visibility, the representation that social media can bring, because the media often is so one sided or it’s very, you know, nepotistic, I don’t know if that’s a word, but you get where I’m going with that and only certain amount of people are able to thrive and shine. And if you don’t fit in that mold, you’re never going to have a voice. But social media, really came in changing that and it said we’re here, we’re queer, in any in any perspective in mine at least. So that’s the beauty of it.
00:04:42 Andrea
I mean, you just won the Feminist Creator Prize from the Canadian Women’s Foundation. Congratulations.
00:04:49 Monica
Thank you.
00:04:49 Andrea
Well deserved.
00:04:51 Monica
Thank you. It was a moment. I cried.
00:04:55 Andrea
I’m so happy. I wonder like I think this is the question that I like most – all of your experiences, all your skills, all the things that you’ve gone through in life, the people you’ve met, the communities you have partaken in and been a part of, what’s the core life lesson, you had to boil it down? What is the core life lesson or lessons you would bring to people listening right now that really is about the efforts to grow gender equality in your own life, from where you’re sitting and where you’re standing?
00:05:28 Monica
Yeah, I think, I mean the core thread for me is just to be kind. And to bring joy in a world that is not as joyous, especially in current times, so to just be able to show up, you know, authentically as yourself, although it is very scary to do, there will be people out there that will see you for you.
And that’s kind of how we can really lean into everything with love together and we can when we see it together, we’re really able to, you know, create a future where everyone feels safe and everyone feels celebrated and everyone is kind of exactly who they are, for them authentically. And I think for so long, I lived inauthentically in my life, you know, denying who I was hiding certain parts of myself. So to be able to show up as myself as that weirdo, as that neuro divergent person, as that queer person, as that quiet person who just likes to sit and chill and play games, it it’s really showing up. And that’s kind of how you show up for each other. Just being authentically you in a world where that it doesn’t really allow for that, you know. So just being you is my common thread, at least- they’ll some people won’t like you and that’s ok because there will be people who love you.
00:07:01 Andrea
Somebody said this, many people probably have said this, that having joy in public amongst other people in their range is a real radical act these days. I mean, do you find that you bring that radical act of joy into the work that you do?
00:07:20 Monica
Yeah. I mean, I think at this point existence is is truly a radical act. You know, when the world that, the state of the world, that we’re in right now, but I think bringing joy and finding community in each other and being able to share like a heartfelt moment, whether that’s they’re tears of joy or maybe they’re tears of sadness. There’s beauty in that that we have together so just being able to let the light shine kind of across. So yeah, my existence is I guess radical, my joy is radical because if I’m going to be, I don’t know if a hater is going to say something to me, I’m going to just kill it with kindness and silliness like, you know what, I’m not going to, it’s water off a duck’s back and that’s kind of it just existing. I’m taking up my space.
00:08:14 Andrea
I like you, Monica. I appreciate that. I mean, we’re coming to IWD, International Women’s Day and I’m always mixed about what it means and doesn’t mean. It’s become such a broad thing. I don’t know sometimes what it means to us today. So clarify for me your passion- if you’re thinking about IWD 2025 and you had to put it down to one key passion that connects with gender equality and justice, what would you tell us?
00:08:48 Monica
For me, I really believe it’s about creating the safe, inclusive spaces for queer women, diverse, you know, gender people, inclusive of trans women, like queer people would not be here without the trans community and queer women. They stood at the forefront. And I think to me being able to create a safe space through my, you know, social media platform or through my talk show or through events that I’ve hosted- to me, that’s kind of what it means is that we come together. I’m Italian and my Nonna instilled this to me is that you do it together as a community. And it’s not just me against you. No, no, no. We all come together, you know, and you all help each other out. Maybe in the olden days, it’s like let’s all help you know, kneed some bread and make food etcetera. But nowadays it’s it’s being there and showing up for each other in other ways. So I think for me it’s just being able to create a safe space for for all women, inclusive of all gender.
00:09:56 Andrea
Of all the creative things you do, what’s your favorite?
00:10:01 Monica
Oh, I think for me it’s my newest project that I’ve been so scared to do, which is my talk show unMASCed and and it’s a play on word mask- lesbian, neurodivergent, we unmask our, we mask ourselves. And I think for so long I’ve been scared of saying my voice like sharing my voice, really, you know I’m here, I’m on social media, but a 3 sec clip versus like an hour long talk that’s different. And I just love it is my favorite thing to just sit down with someone and get to know them beyond what people see them as.
So if I have someone who comes on my show who has a disability, they’re more than their disability, they are more than, you know, a queer person. They are more than this and just being able to sit down from just a human to human piece and share an uplift and talk to them about themselves and their journey and what their passions are and their joy, it helps spark other people’s passions, other people’s joy and, and I think it just you know, makes the world shine brighter, so talk show for sure, unMASCed. And we have fun.
00:11:17 Andrea
How can I find the talk show? How do I find it?
00:11:21 Monica
It is, yeah it’s a great question. It’s available on YouTube. So you can search my handle at Gay Italian Nonna on YouTube and the show is called unMASCed. I just launched episode 6 today, which is exciting. And for the month of March for Women’s, International Women’s Day, I’m showcasing 11 inspiring women that are doing amazing things. All walk of life, but just amazing women across the board that have started businesses or you know, breast cancer thrivers or queer advocates. It’s just beautiful. I think women are strong. I think we are resilient. I think we are brilliant and I want to be able to use my platform to showcase the amazing women out there. So for the month of March check out the 11 women who inspire, and if you want more info, it’s on my Instagram. GayItalianNonna
00:12:18 Andrea
OK. The question, thank you, the question that is hitting me right now -are you the Gay Italian Nonna, who is the Gay Italian Nonna? Tell me.
00:12:21
Yes. That’s a great question. That’s a good question. I like to look at myself as Hannah Montana kind of vibes. So, I am Gay Italian Nonna. That is my online persona. It is inspired by my grandmother, who was such a beautiful, strong woman, who overcame a lot of resilience and she overcame a lot, she had a lot of resilience and she she grew, you know, she built me to who I am today. And that’s myself, that’s my online persona. It’s really in homage to her and saying here we are as a community. That’s Nonna, that’s that’s Gay Nonna. She’s like extroverted. She’s funny. She’s loud, all of that. And then there’s Monica and Monica is I would say more quiet and more reserved and more, you know, if I can just sit in a room and like watch people like have fun, like that’s my vibe, which is also giving grandma vibes to be very honest, like, so the Nonna is always in me. So I’m forever and always a Nonna. But I have the I like to say the two personas – stage name, it’s like Sasha, Fierce and Beyoncé.
00:13:39 Andrea
I love her.Yeah, yeah.
00:13:42 Monica
There we go.
00:13:43 Andrea
Most natural thing in the world, I appreciate it. Different grandmas, that’s what it is.
My last question to you, you know, our readers of readers, our listeners always want to hear – Alright, now what?
Can you share just a powerful take away based on your expertise, your experience that the, the things that you have gone through, the the life that you have? How can we all be better gender equality change makers today?
00:14:11 Monica
I love this question. I think when I think of change it starts with a choice, right? And it’s sometimes really hard to get up and do that, especially if you’re sad or you’re anxious, and it starts with a choice. But if we all make these choices to really focus on building, you know, community or holding, you know, I like to say that Wicked quote right now the holding space for each other, we can really, you know, create a world that is y. know resilient but also inclusive to everyone. Right. And I think it just starts from one thing and I I’m always going to go back to the the trans community because I think right now they’re trying to be erased and they are not going anywhere. They have been here and they’ve been at the forefront of our community. And I think it started, you know, it started with one one person, you know, with one throw the rocker, as we like to say. But it starts with one and I think we can do that to continue to inspire. But it all comes together. Sorry, I’m like, rambling at this point, but I just think it’s a choice to wake up every day and and sometimes your existence is simply radical enough, you know? But it’s it’s being in love with also who you are and that sometimes takes a minute as well. But you have your community and that’s why I always fall back from community because if you’re not feeling it your community is going to be there to hype you up. So that’s kind of, I don’t know if that answered your question or if that was just me.
00:15:48 Andrea
I think it does. I mean it does. I appreciate this little choices, little choices that we can make every day, and if it’s one little choice and little choice to just make it through, survive, if you thrive, good for you. But it’s can be tough as you said. So making that little choice to to be and then when you don’t even feel you have that, having a community to fall back on and fall into- how beautiful. Thanks Monica.
00:16:15 Monica
Yeah. And just uplift each other you know, so that’s that’s the key.
00:16:21 Andrea
Alright, Now What?
If you want to make sure no woman, girl, Two Spirit, trans, or nonbinary person feels out of options, out of sight, out of time, or out of mind, visit yescountmein.ca today. When you count yourself in, you’ll join over 104,000 people in the Canadian Women’s Foundation’s generous and active community. You’ll get tools and opportunities to advance gender equality. This movement needs you. Visit yescountmein.ca and count yourself in today.
Please listen, subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. If you appreciate this content, please consider becoming a donor to the Canadian Women’s Foundation. People like you will make the goal of gender equality a reality. Visit canadianwomen.org to give today and thank you for your support.
