This week, we meet Ruby – a strong advocate for the work of the Canadian Women’s Foundation. Ruby is based in Toronto, with a young daughter, a loving family, and strong ties to her South Asian community. She is also the survivor of physical, emotional, and “all forms of violence” experienced at the hands of her ex-husband while living with him and his family. She describes her ex-husband’s family as complicit in the abuse, which left her feeling isolated and helpless even though she was surrounded by people. She describes the shame she carried – for her “choice” in the relationship, and for the times she left and returned. And, she describes her final exit alongside her family and the court systems, all motivated by her fierce love and protection for her daughter. Now that she has experienced support and accessed resources available to her, she wants others to know that there is hope.

Statistically, girls and gender-diverse young people face high rates of intimate partner violence — rates more than double what women aged 25 to 44 experience, and more than six times higher than what women aged 65 or older experience, according to one national survey. Eternity Martis knows these statistics well, as an award-winning journalist, author, and assistant professor of journalism at Toronto Metropolitan University. Her 2020 memoir, They Said This Would Be Fun spotlights her experiences being a student of colour on a predominantly white campus, while also being with an abusive boyfriend. This episode focuses on Eternity’s first-person account of navigating university life while navigating her abusive relationship. She speaks about being let down by the university, struggling with her studies, and finally finding a way out. Eternity’s story also touches on the way race factors into intimate partner violence. Now, as an educator who interacts with young people, she has many thoughts on helping students and young people who are faced with the same dilemma.