The Facts about Teen Healthy Relationships
What are healthy relationships and why are they important?
Healthy relationships are built on trust, intimacy, communication, respect, safety, independence, and more (Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2019). Healthy relationships are as important in friendships and family and caregiving dynamics as they are in intimate partnerships.
Learning how to identify, build, and maintain healthy relationships is important for emotional and social development. In healthy relationships, teens feel safe expressing themselves and their needs.
Teenagers are influenced by relationships they have growing up. Healthy and supportive relationships during adolescence are positive assets and protect against the impact of “structural inequalities” (Wong et al., Statistics Canada, 2022). Similarly, the negative effects associated with unhealthy, abusive, or violent relationships can be “far reaching and long-lasting,” leaving teens with negative and unhealthy ways of relating that can become patterns in their adult lives (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
These consequences include, but are not limited to: “depressive symptoms, suicidality, increased anxiety, trauma symptoms, problematic substance use, sexual health issues, injury, decreased ability to regulate negative emotions and stress, continued involvement in violence, and decreased academic performance” (University of Calgary, Youth Dating Violence).
Teaching about healthy relationships and violence prevention in schools in ways that involve families and community is key to helping teens learn how to build healthy relationships.
Why are teen healthy relationships such an urgent issue?
More than four in 10 (45%) teens aged 15 to 17 experience dating violence since age 15. According to self-reported data, emotional abuse is the most common form of violence (45%), followed by physical violence (10%) and sexual violence (7%) (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
The experience of intimate partner violence as a teen has been linked to negative outcomes in later life, including an increased risk of experiencing intimate partner violence again in adulthood (Savage, Statistics Canada, 2018).
“Nonbinary youth report significantly higher rates of all forms of adolescent dating violence victimization than their cisgender peers,” with psychological victimization being the highest (42%), followed by cyber (32.8%) and physical (25.6%) victimization (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
Indigenous and Northern young women (66%) and men (54%) between the ages of 15 and 24 report significantly higher rates of intimate partner violence (Malama et al., Journal of Global Health Reports, 2024).
According to Statistics Canada, “in 2022, the rate of police-reported dating violence was about nine times higher for teenage girls than boys” (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
Frequently Asked Questions about Teen Healthy Relationships
One in three youth report experiencing physical, psychological and/or cyber teen dating violence (Exner-Cortens et al., Journal of Adolescent Health, 2021).
More than 4 in 10 teens between the ages of 15 to 17 report experiencing emotional abuse. Among teen girls, 7% report experiencing sexual abuse by a dating partner (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
Systemic oppression places marginalized groups at a higher risk of experiencing dating violence, including Black and racialized youth, youth living in poverty, Indigenous youth, and 2SLGBTQIA+ youth (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
According to police-reported data, “like physical assault offences, sexual teen dating violence disproportionately impacts girls (a rate of 116 [girls victimized] per 100,000 population, compared with 5 among boys), as is the case more generally with all forms of sexual violence” (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
“Women with a disability are often overrepresented as [survivors] of violence, including violence committed within an intimate partner relationship. Young women with a disability [are] more than twice as likely as women aged 25 and older living with a disability to report experiencing some form of [intimate partner violence]” (Savage, Statistics Canada, 2018).
“Young women who [report] experiencing harsh parenting [are] also more likely than those who had never experienced harsh parenting to report experiencing [intimate partner violence] (62% and 43%, respectively).” In this context, “harsh parenting” is defined as “spanking or slapping, saying things that hurt the child’s feelings, the child feeling unwanted or unloved, and not meeting the child’s basic needs” (Savage, Statistics Canada, 2018).
Early signs of youth dating violence can be hard to spot because they are more subtle and often considered “typical” in youth relationships. These include psychological and emotional abuse like shaming, jealous or possessive behaviours, threats of aggression, humiliation, name calling, and more. These behaviours, especially when they are repetitive, can be a warning sign of future escalated violence (Williamson, Saskatchewan Prevention Institute, 2023).
It’s important to pay attention to the following signs if you suspect that your friend or child may be experiencing teen dating violence: significant changes in physical appearance, self-harming behaviours, they struggle to not be in constant contact with their partner, and isolation and withdrawal from usual activities, including school and extracurricular activities (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
Individuals who perpetrate dating violence often engage in the following behaviours, all of which reduce their partner’s sense of self-worth and isolate them from other relationships: controlling what they do and who they see; criticizing and demeaning them; controlling how they act and how they dress; engaging in unwanted touching; pressuring them into sexual activity; ignoring their boundaries (both physical and/or not); extreme jealousy and lack of trust; explosive temper; threatening their partner; inflicting pain (physically and/or emotionally), and more (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
Teens can also experience dating violence in digital spaces. This includes someone posting or threatening to post intimate images of them, receiving sexually explicit content without consent, and being pressured to share intimate images. A study looking at a subset of teens who experienced dating violence online in 2022 found “more than four in ten teens (44%) experienced sexual violations—over half (53%) of which were for the non-consensual distribution of intimate images” (Sutton and Burczycka, Statistics Canada, 2024).
Caregivers model behaviours for young people and are an essential source of information. It’s important to model healthy relationship skills and educate yourself about adolescent relationships and dating violence so you can: “talk to your child about healthy relationships, boundaries, consent, and dating violence; build healthy relationships and safety skills with your child; and learn what to do if your child discloses [youth dating violence] to you” (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
Whether “parent, teacher, healthcare provider, or another trusted adult, having someone to talk to about sex and sexual health is important for the health and well-being of young people in their transition to adulthood. According to the 2019 Canadian Health Survey on Children and Youth, most youth aged 15 to 17 years (85%) reported having an adult that they could talk with to get help or advice on puberty, sexual development, or sexual health” (Statistics Canada, 2024).
In, Building in the Field of Teen Healthy Relationships report, the Equipping and Engaging Adults working group conducted five focus groups with teens and young adults from different age groups and geographical contexts throughout Canada and found that all the youth “participants agreed that the adults in their lives should be more knowledgeable and skillful in the area of healthy relationships” (Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2019).
Adults may need help forming healthy relationships with young people, creating healthy social climates, and addressing bullying. The Promoting Relationships & Eliminating Violence Network has created a Healthy Relationships Training Module to fill this gap for adults who work with young people.
The Healthy Dating Relationships Guide from PREVNet and Facebook can prove useful to both caregivers and youth learning about healthy relationships, both online and offline.
It is a Big Deal: Grades 9-12 Activity Book can also be a helpful guide for caregivers and young people to talk about relationships and sexual consent. It discusses stereotypes, dating relationships, sexting, sexual consent, sexual violence, the law, uncomfortable situations, and how to get help.
Expressing “personal boundaries early in intimate relationship interactions [is] key to reducing the likelihood of unhealthy relationship dynamics from forming” (Williamson, Saskatchewan Prevention Institute, 2023).
Maintaining relationships with supportive friends and “positive parental monitoring” and support can also reduce the risk of youth dating violence. A study looking specifically at Indigenous youth also highlights the importance of promoting “cultural safety, identity, and involvement” (Williamson, Saskatchewan Prevention Institute, 2023).
Education about what healthy relationships look like alongside digital literacy and safe use of the internet are important. Studies show that after participating in teen dating violence prevention programs, young people are more likely able to identify and define unhealthy relationships and signs of dating violence, and they are less likely to be accepting of violent behaviours (Wong and Lee, Simon Fraser University, 2022).
As important as it is to teach young people to recognize warning signs of abusive behaviour, this must be paired with education of effective responses to these warning signs. Even though teens can be aware of what behaviours are unacceptable, “they still lack knowledge of the appropriate ways to respond to warning signs” (Francis and Pearson, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 2019).
Each province and territory has their own legislation and policies to address youth dating violence in Canada (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary). Whether you’re a young person, parent, caregiver, or educator, one of the most important things you can do is understand your rights and responsibilities.
Young people are often hesitant about asking for support because they are afraid of being confronted or that someone will report the incident(s) against their wishes.
Power imbalances between young people and their parents, educators, and caregivers need to be reflected in how support is given. We can feel very upset when we learn that someone we care about is experiencing abuse, but it’s important that you focus on their feelings and not your own. This will help you listen without being judgmental or implying any blame.
It’s very important to be transparent with them about the limits of your confidentiality. Whether you’re a caregiver, parent, or educator, if a young person “is being physically harmed, if there is distribution of explicit sexual material, or if [they] are otherwise in danger,” you have “a legal responsibility to keep [them] safe” (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
PREVNet outlines seven effective ways to be supportive in your response when a young person discloses that they are experiencing youth dating violence. We encourage you to review these, along with their four-step guide to responding: Check In, Affirm, Clarify, and Answer (Addressing Youth Dating Violence, University of Calgary).
Finally, explain to the young person what will happen if they call or seek support and offer them a list of services and resources. Consider calling a support service together or offer to be present during the call if they are comfortable with that. Here are some other resources that may be helpful:
- Kids Help Phone: Call 1-800-6868 or text 686868
- First Nations and Inuit Hope for Wellness Help Line: 1-855-242-3310
- LGBT YouthLine (call or text): 647-694-4275
- Family Justice Center
- Children’s Mental Health Ontario
- Call or text 211 Helpline
Last Update: July 15, 2024
The Canadian Women’s Foundation’s Teen Healthy Relationship Grants fund school- and community-based programs that work with young people of all genders, aged 10-19, and focus on learning about dating violence, gender stereotypes, sexual harassment, and how to build safe and healthy relationships.
