Women’s Poverty
The Facts about Women and Poverty in Canada What is [...]
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Five years ago, I made the most vital and life-saving decision I’d ever made. I chose to break up a 14-year relationship with the father of my four children. The break up was a no-brainer, really. It should have happened years before it finally did; women in abusive relationships face many barriers to leaving.
I went from a strong, independent, self-reliant woman to being completely controlled by and dependent on someone else. It didn’t help that he was verbally abusive, both to me and my kids. When we actually did speak, his words were filled with sexual innuendos and/or insults, usually in front of the children.
During our May-long Campaign to End Violence, we're publishing a weekly roundup of impact stories, infographics and resources to raise awareness about violence against women and girls in Canada.
This week's is on intersectionality, inclusion and collaboration to end violence.
This interview was originally published by International Innovation.
Sheherazade Hirji, President and CEO of the Canadian Women’s Foundation, wants to put the organisation out of business – envisioning a generation of empowered women, gender equality and an end to sexual violence.
Having dedicated your career to the philanthropic sector, you are committed to helping women and girls in Canada. What led you to your present role at the Foundation?
I actually qualified as a solicitor in England first, so I’m a ‘recovering’ lawyer. I came to Canada in the 1980s and qualified again, got called to the Bar and started to work in the area of philanthropy. I very quickly found that the work I was doing with foundations resonated with my own personal values much more than law.
Does the idea of putting yourself first seem radical? Does your inner voice say: “That’s selfish!”
In my work with women who run community economic development and non-profit organizations, I hear a lot about the struggle to find time for self-care and to set healthy personal/professional boundaries.
There are entrenched social norms that say women should put others first. We’re not always rewarded for being assertive, and we’re not socialized to take leisure time. Self-care is even harder for women in particular situations. For example, single working moms usually can't afford to pay someone to take care of their kids so they can take some personal time.
In the fall, some colleagues and I attended a panel hosted by TD’s Diversity & Inclusion Centre of Excellence, chaired by TD’s Monique Bateman, Special Advisor, Aboriginal Relations. There, we listened to three inspiring Chiefs talk about leadership.
Right away I was struck by how—unlike during the leaders’ debates aired during the countdown to our federal election—the panelists did not once interrupt each other. They each waited patiently for the moderator’s questions and answered in turn, when asked. Their answers were smart, thoughtful, and carefully considered.
Someone helps you with your homework or offers to give you a ride home. You accept. You thank them. You’re texting back and forth, maybe flirting, maybe sending photos of yourself, and you get the sense that they want more. Even though you only wanted the homework help, or the ride, or the sexting, the person feels entitled to your body. And you’re not sure whether they might be right.
These scenarios are not uncommon among youth and young adults. But the Avalon Sexual Assault Centre, in Halifax, wants you to know: “No one is entitled to your body—you don’t owe anyone.”